What to do when hit rock bottom?
Today, I am going to open my heart to you and tell you something very personal and painful.
In about two hours from now, I will be divorced. This is the most painful experience of my entire life, bar none.
Many of you, who have been with me throughout the years know my wife Tracey. In the early years she basically ran my office, listened to my crazy plans and always supported me.She is handling the divorce with strength and dignity. In fact, we are driving to and from the courthouse together.
The truth, my friend, is that right now, I am at the lowest point of my life. Some people have told me to not admit that or admit that I struggle at times. "You're supposed to be the 'guru'", they say. Well, first, I don't want to be anyones "guru". I want to help people achieve what they want with their life and the best way for me to do that is not to put up some phony facade. I'm a real guy who is going to be real with you.
In the midst of all of this, I need to remember to count my enormous blessings and be grateful for all that I have in my life. And honestly, I count my customers in those lists.
So wherever you are in your life, pause right now, shut your eyes for a minute and give thanks for all of your blessings. Please take the time to do it now.
Sincerely,
~Dave Dee
In about two hours from now, I will be divorced. This is the most painful experience of my entire life, bar none.
Many of you, who have been with me throughout the years know my wife Tracey. In the early years she basically ran my office, listened to my crazy plans and always supported me.She is handling the divorce with strength and dignity. In fact, we are driving to and from the courthouse together.
The truth, my friend, is that right now, I am at the lowest point of my life. Some people have told me to not admit that or admit that I struggle at times. "You're supposed to be the 'guru'", they say. Well, first, I don't want to be anyones "guru". I want to help people achieve what they want with their life and the best way for me to do that is not to put up some phony facade. I'm a real guy who is going to be real with you.
In the midst of all of this, I need to remember to count my enormous blessings and be grateful for all that I have in my life. And honestly, I count my customers in those lists.
So wherever you are in your life, pause right now, shut your eyes for a minute and give thanks for all of your blessings. Please take the time to do it now.
Sincerely,
~Dave Dee
posted by Dave Dee at
11:30 AM
34 Comments:
Hi Dave!
I went through the divorce process 16 years ago. I believe it's one of the hardest things anyone does in their life.
I've been fortunate to have had the support of a wonderful guy to get me through it and we've just celebrated 15 years of marriage.
I wish you all the best and thank you for your daily e-mails. They're always worth a read.
Keep up the good work and know that others out here are thinking of you and wishing you well.
I am going thru the same thing Dave. It is definately not easy, both financially or with the kids. Hopefully you 2 can be adult and keep any disputes away from the kids. You only have 1 chance with them!
I have been going thru this for sometime and trying to keep afloat both financially and mentally and it is very hard sometimes, but you have to believe it WILL get better. As long as you have your health you can do anything! Keep strong and I will see you at your webinar- Adam C.
So sorry to hear that, Dave. Best of luck to you and your family. Thanks for what you've helped me do with my business.
Hey Dave,
My heart goes out to you. Thanks for sharing and giving me a "heads up" to reflect on what is important.
Dave, I'm so sorry to hear the news. I recently went through one myself and its just terrible. But be assured you have lots of friends to help you. If you there is anything you need just ask.
steve
Dave,
Sorry to hear that.
I suspect you have a pile of Mr Rohn's materials around that will provide you with some foundation and motivation for getting through this. Jim's recordings are always a source of help when things are less than ideal.
One thing about being rock bottom: there's no place to go but up:)
Mark
Dave,
I'm sorry to hear about the family struggles you're going through. You're right - you are just human. And no matter how much money a person makes, or how successful we might be in other areas of our lives, it doesn't make up for the pain one experiences when a marriage ends in divorce. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You will get through this. And you'll be a much wiser man for it.
Brian
Thanks Dave,
I have had a rough year for varied reasons, but your plea to count your blessings is well taken and appreciated.
It's too bad that it takes having someone else remind you at times, but as long as we do realize we have much going for us that's what matters.
To learn a bit about one of my blessings, take a look at the blog my wife and I created for our son Drew at http://www.turnonmyears.blogspot.com.
Drew's Dad
Hang in there Dave. "This to shall pass."
Concentrate on your kids.
Be extra kind to yourself.
Been There.Done That & lived to tell about it!
Hang in there Dave. "This to shall pass."
Concentrate on the kids and be extra kind to yuorself.
Been There.
Hi Dave!
I don't know all the details and I don't need to. I do know that within the last two years I have been exactly where you are.
The bottom is ugly, painful and no fun at all. When I was there, someone said something to me that I really did not understand right away....it took awhile to make sense...and only now makes total sense hear on the other side...what my friend told me was "don't waste the pain."
The bottom sucks, and there is lots to learn there.
Take care of yourself and especially take care of the kids.
Here on the other side, I am so grateful for the lessons and am here to tell you there are good days coming on the other side of the bottom.
And as a fellow Atlanta area person, if you ever need an ear.......
Hang in there,
Jeff Herring
Jeff@GreatArticleMarketing.com
www.GreatArticleMarketing.com
You need the lows to appreciate the highs. Time to start climbing back up again. All the best Rob
Hey Dave,
Thank you for sharing your struggles with us - your generally 'anonymous' e-mail subscribers.
Please know that you have a tonne of people behind you, cheering for you...even as far as the UK!
Dave,
I admire your courage to tell of your struggles, and certainly will include you and your family in my prayers today. I have several bits of scripture bookmarked in my Bible, and one that comes to mind that I want to share with you is Psalm 102. When I get discouraged, I like to read this before delving out a fervent prayer.
Thanks for the suggestion to reflect on the blessings in our lives... I think that is a wonderful exercise that everyone should do on a consistent basis!
Keep you head up!
Zac Cole
Dave,
Having been through a divorce myself, I know that this is a very difficult day for you both. Some things you just can't prepare for.
You, Tracey, and the kids are in our thoughts and prayers. If there's anything at all I can do to help out, please don't hesitate to let me know.
Rachel
Dear Dave --
Please take strength in knowing that people are praying for you and your family today.
Thank you for you sharing something so personal and reminding us all to be grateful for what we have.
Take care,
WMR
Dave,
I am so sorry to hear about your divorce. I've lived through that and I know how painful it is.
It is admirable that you and Tracey are so civil that you are driving to and from the courthouse together.
My prayers are with you. God bless.
I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. I pray that the Lord gives you and your family the strength and peace you need to deal with this. Thank you for opening up yourself to your readers. It's appreciated it.
Dave,
Hang in there. I know your pain and know exactly what you are going through especially when children are involved. I'm speaking from experience. Continue reading positive books from Stuart Wilde, Brian Weiss, D.Chopra Wayne Dyer, and don't stop your meditation and relaxation practices. You'll benefit from it and will keep you from loosing your mind.
Blessings.
JP
Hey Dave,
This is Scott Jones, from Ridgeland, Mississippi. I bought the Vincent James product from you several months ago. I read your emails regularly, because I enjoy them and I almost always get something worthwhile from them.
I’m very sorry for this sad day in your family’s life, but I greatly appreciate your openness and honesty in talking about it. A little over 11 years ago, we lost our oldest son, Josh, in a car wreck. He was 18 and did not survive the initial impact.
That was the worst day of my life, as well as for my wife and younger son and daughter, but we survived, yet not without difficulties. I’ve never drawn back, though, from being open about it with friends or strangers.
I can say that God has used this intensely painful experience in my life to teach me more than ever before about my relationship with Him, and with other people, and He has grown me more as a man than I have ever known before. So take heart, all is not lost, even though I know the pain can be overwhelming.
I will lift you and yours up to the Father in my prayers and am always thankful, as you mentioned, for the blessings He has given me, and my family. Please feel free to contact me if there’s anything I can do for you, even if it’s just being a long-distance ear or shoulder.
Blessings to you amidst the troubles!
Scott Jones
Dave,
Fortunately or unfortunately, there are many of us that can empathize with your situation. I know personally that it can be a monstrous challenge to overcome, but like all challenges it can also be a tremendous opportunity for growth.
While some may question your motives for sharing so much of your personal life, it definitely speaks volumes about your character. Thanks for sharing it all with us, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I hope you find some quiet amidst your storm very soon.
Chestin
My heart breaks for you both.
You're definitely in my prayers Dave.
--Jack
Dave,
I really feel the pain for you.
I am sure you have been under pressure for some time. There is never an amicable divorce. I am one of your fans,and want to offer you support. I am available at 9496900359. KenJonesMD
kenjonesmd@sbcglobal.net
PS There are things you should do so this event does not repeat itself. For instance, usually the divorce is related to what attracted the two parties at the beginning.
God Bless you and give you strenght through all this. It effects all of us in our lives today, and it is never easy or fun. I gather by your tone and comments lately that you are a "Secret" student, remember, you can turn this around and seek better things for yourself. Good luck to you, and be proud of yourself for the courage to make it public.
Dave, No guru became one without learning from what didn't work. Tracey was a big part of your life, and with your children she always will be. This past year you softened, you expressed more about who you are, not just what you do.
This isn't your lowest point, it's just another chapter. Blessings - Solarzar (solarzar@KNRYGoodVibrations.com)
Dave,
This isn't about loss, it's change. A person is a guru because they learned from what didn't work.
This past year you softened and became more expressive about who you are, not what you do.
Tracey will always be a big part of your life because of your children, and because of what you learned from your experience together.
This isn't the lowest point of your life, it's just another turning point.
Blessings - Solarzar
www.KNRYGoodVibrations.com
www.Magic4Life.com
Dave,
I am so sorry to hear that. I understand what you are going through as I have been through two divorces in my life.
In 2005, all three of my daughters got pregnant, and two of my grandchildren died. It was the low point in my life. I understand.
You are being very brave. Being open and honest will help you heal. Counting your blessings at a time like this may not seem logical, or sensible, but it will be one of the things that helps you get through this, and I know you will triumph because you have a winning attitude.
You are in my prayers. Hang in there. The best is yet to be.
Sincerely,
Jinger Jarrett
Hello Dave Dee:
Believe me when I say Divorce is not the hardest thing one may face. If anything my divorce in 1996 'freed' me, and at the time I thought it would have killed me. The sad realization hit me that the wife I loved was in actuality a con artist and wanted nothing more in life than to treat her as a goddess. That really doesn't work at all for a Messianic Jew.
What has also been extremely hard - but getting easier as I let go and let God - is bankruptcy. This year has been a financial disaster; had to close a business, facing much discrimination for my knowledge and age (though only 50 in January).
A few years ago we had a triple whammy with my sis, mom and aunt all stricken with cancer in less than 11 months. The aunt passed away shortly thereafter, but mom and sis are survivors. That was probably one of the lowest points lived to date. When one has no ability to comfort the ill, no way to solve the problem...it creates grief beyond understanding.
Thankfully divorces can have a pathway to resolution. Bankruptcy in a way is akin to the absolution brought about by those reaching 50 (the Year of Jubilee, or forgiveness of all debts, as Scripture shows in the old covenant). It takes much longer to be convinced when overwhelmed by killer disease. Even then, time heals.
Please do whatever you can with her as you separate to be amicable, forgiving, and loving as best as you can. Peace between the aggrieved can help the children, which should be your primary care and concern.
Praying you will see God's hand in all, and find blessing and strength during this time.
Bill Alley
Norwich CT
Dave, I've been through it. You will hurt like hell, question the core of your beliefs, rage against the demons and finally come to peace. Continue to be honest with yourself and your situation. You will be OK and you will come out stronger in the end. I speak from personal experience.
R. Edward Turner, Ph.D. "Ed"
Hi Dave. Sorry to hear about your divorce - I feel for you. I've been through 2 divorces myself. It's tough stuff no doubt. Now I am very happily married and can truly say I've never been happier. You will get through this too. You're doing the best thing you can do for yourself by counting your blessings. It's so important to focus on what's good in our lives rather than come from a place a lack. Just learn from the experience, be thankful for all the good times, keep your head high and march on. It's a new beginning. Think of all the wonderful things in store for you - the possibilities are endless. The best is yet to come!
Hey Dave I feel your pain. I am currently going through a break up after 7 years with my fiance. She is all I know and I still think about her constantly. She left just 2 and a half months ago and I still feel like the world is coming to an end and time is not healing me. I have been consoled by reading some of the comments on this blog and I too hope that things will get better but my mind is going crazy at the moment. Just stay around good friends and family to help cheer you up and get you through this and hopefully me and you will be doing much better next year.
Dave,
Thank you for your honesty, you are a great man, a great inspiration and will come through this stronger and mightier than before. A lot of 'guru's' would choose to have hidden such a life experience, you chose to share and that says volumes about a man who really, truly cares about his friends, subscribers and clients.
To the next level of Success, Cheers!
Brett Brodie
Dave, my heart goes out to you! I don't know who filed for divorce or what circumstances brought this decision about, but I have some advice for you, and hopefully anyone else who reads this. I do know the love of Jesus and know the love I have for my 3 year old daughter. The love Jesus has for you and me makes everything else pale in comparison. He chose to be tortured, ridiculed, and give his life so we can spend eternity with him and his Father in Heaven. I love my daughter to "death", but I don't know in my heart if I could make that ultimate sacrifice myself. I do know that I love her enough to swallow my pride and make the smaller sacrifices and compromises with her mother that are necessary for me to be with her in our home. It isn't easy, but now instead of praying that God will change her mother, I ask that He will change my heart. I also pray that He will become the focus of our family; that He will be glorified and I can be blessed by getting through the toughest of times with His strength and comfort. I can see He is already using your suffering to reach out to hundreds, if not thousands of hurting souls. It is not too late for, Tracey, and your children to remain a family. Divorce is just a piece of paper. I will pray for all of you. Please remember that true success is ending up in heaven! May the Lord bless you and your family. You can email me at sraanes@hotmail.com if I can be of help.
Dave, my heart goes out to you and your family. I don't know what brought about the decision to divorce, but I do have some advice. I know how much Jesus Christ loves you and me, and how much I love my 3 year old daughter. Jesus chose to suffer ridicule, torture and death so that we can spend eternity in heaven with him and his father. My love pales in comparison. I love my daughter to "death", but I don't know if I could make that sacrifice for her. What I do know, is that through the love of God, I am able to swallow my pride and make the smaller sacrifices and compromises with her mother so we can stay together as a family. I used to pray for God to change my wife, but I finally realized, God needed to change me and my heart instead. Going through such tough times can become a blessing to you and others if you trust God to get you through. I can see where He is already using your pain to reach out and comfort hundreds if hot thousands of others. We all want to be successful and to be regarded, that is what drives us deep inside to do what we do. Your heavenly Father holds you in high regard, so much so that He sacrificed His son so you can have the "ultimate success", eternity in heaven with Him and Jesus Christ. I hope you know Him as your personal Savior. Divorce is just a piece of paper, and I will pray for you and your family that you will be restored, and that God's love will be comforting and glorified through you. Let me know if I can ever be of help. You can reach me at sraanes@hotmail.com.
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